Liberal Wacko, Montana Division

Belgrade, MT saved from overgrown tree threat
August 4, 2006, 5:55 pm
Filed under: Priorities

People of Belgrade, you can rest easy. The recent problems we have been struggling with are being addressed at this very moment!

No, not the arson fires that burned three drivers education cars in front of the high school.

Not the rash of vehicle vandalism and property theft.

Not the drive-by paintball assaults on our homes and vehicles.

Not the people speeding down roads through town at 70 mph.

Not even the stray dogs that chase people walking around town on cool summer evenings.

No, we are safe from trees. And RVs. Oh, and those horrible people who leave their trash can out a day after collection.

But who is to blame for these crimes? What kind of person would let their tree grow to the point that you can only see a stop sign from 50 feet away? Or leave their pop-up camper parked by their house? Or forget to wheel their garbage container back to it’s spot next to the house?

I am ashamed to say it is me.

But I have changed my ways, good citizens. I trimmed my tree so that those people who blatently ignore stop signs will at least know they are there as they whiz by at 50 mph.

I will endeavor to move my RV every 72 hours as required by code.

I will move my garbage can.

And the good people of Belgrade will be able to rest easy tonight.

Hopefully those folks cooking meth next door will keep it quiet tonight, and the sex offender across the street will stop looking in the bedroom window.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

We need some help here in Helena. I have stepped in dog crap TWICE in front of my office building in the last two weeks. Please help!

Comment by Shane C. Mason

I’ll bet if you complain to Burns he’ll chew out the city garbageman for you…

Well, maybe not for you. You’re a liberal who doesn’t contribute to him.

Comment by Wulfgar

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